


Have You Ever Heard of the French Mistake, Mr. Stark?

by RandomFanfictions



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Everyone loves Peter tbh, French Mistake, I did this to cope with IW, I hope, Precious Peter Parker, RDJ loves Peter, So beware, Supernatural References, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony picks on Peter for his actor being British, but MCU version, but its good, honestly this is just some crazy crackfic, i fix them when i see it tho, i love my sons, i type fast so theres typos prob, including IW, ok im done tagging, they also reference...like every MCU movie, tony stark is iron dad, who wouldn’t love Peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-02 09:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14541939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFanfictions/pseuds/RandomFanfictions
Summary: “Have you ever heard of the French Mistake, Mr. Stark?” Peter had asked, his eyes wide in realization“Can’t say that I have” he mumbles, looking back to the people in from of them“It’s an episode from Supernatural..the characters end up in the real world where their lives are just a TV show”“What does that have to do with anything”“I think that’s what happened to us”Peter and Tony end up in our world, and let’s just say that it’s very meta. They meet RDJ, Tom Holland and friends, get introduced to the Marvel fanbase and watch movies all while trying to find Dr. Strange in this weird alternate world.IW references but I have no idea if I'll put in any spoilers so read at your own risk





	1. Mr. Stark, Who Are These Guys And How Do They Know Us

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for a few weeks. I haven't found any that are exactly like this so I took it upon myself to write it. Thank me later

His head hurt. Peter opens his eyes and tries to get them to focus before he notices that he’s sitting in an alley. 

It’s a dirty one too. 

A grunt next to him startles the teen, but looking over his shoulder, his anxiety dies down when he sees the face of his mentor. 

Okay cool, no scary bad guy next to him. 

...wait

“Mr. Stark?” He calls his name, ready to ask a question

He groans “Mm, yep my head is throbbing now..yeah, kid?”

“What happened?”

The last thing he can remember was packing his suit into his backpack so he’d be ready to swing his way back home after school that morning, but now he was laying against a brick wall with Tony Stark in the middle of who knows where.

“I have no idea” the man sits up and let’s his eyes sweep the area, looking for any signs of danger

“Come on, Pete. We’ve got no idea what’s going on, let’s try to get back to the compound or something” 

They stand up, the boy slinking his backpack over his shoulder (thank God that whatever happened, he brought his stuff with him) and began to walk. 

The streets didn’t look too busy, but nevertheless, Mr. Stark had put on his signature sunglasses to try and obscure his face while turning up his hood on a sweatshirt he had on. The faint glow of the arc reactor showing underneath. 

Peter decided to follow in the same manner, after all, walking with someone as famous as Tony Stark can get you a lot of unwanted attention.

They probably walked a good fifty steps before a giant billboard sign made them stop dead in their tracks.

"Uh, Mr. Stark?"

He looked upwards, a change from his continual left to right movements, watching for any signs of danger, and there it was. A big fat sign with their faces on it. Well, not just their faces, but it looked like every super hero's face's too. 

"What the fuck?" he says in shock, because really, who wouldn't be shocked if they saw a giant billboard with everyone they know, including themself, posing like some movie poster with some stupid title right next to it.

"Avengers: Infinity War" Peter reads out loud and - _oh_

Oh shit.

_Oh shit_.

That _is_ a movie poster.

The billionaire take off his sunglasses and pulls down his hoodie as if that would make the poster go away like some image he thought he had seen in the corner of his eye. That decision was not a very good one, because it seemed like the second he had done that, a swarm of people had all shown up from almost no where. Some were shouting, others were so excited they could hardly make out a word. 

Of course, the man was used to this, he got this on the daily basis, but when some of the girls had gone up to Peter and were squealing, begging for an autograph and selfie. It made no sense and the names they were shouting to them didn't help their confusion. 

"Tom Holland!" one cried

"Please, can we take a picture with you two?" a couple of guys asked

"Oh my God, Robert Downey Jr.!" a middle aged woman shrieked

"Spider-Man!" a little boy giggled

"Iron-Man!" a teenaged girl screamed

_What the actual fuck_

Somehow, by some miracle, they were saved. Some man had walked right up to them, pushing away the fans, telling them that they had to go and that they could come later to the meet and greet in some store, they didn't quiet catch the name, then were both being shoved into a car.

Once safely inside the comforts of the vehicle, sitting in the backseat with the guy, Peter sitting in the center seat, Tony's eyes light up in recognition.

"Bru-" the older man never finished the name and instead was cut off

"Robert, Tom, thought you guys were hanging at the hotel?" alright, so not Bruce.

"Mr. Stark, are we dreaming?" the teen turns and directs the question to his mentor who looks just as utterly clueless

Not-Bruce looks confused too then chuckles"Oh, are you guys doing some character improv?"

"Maybe" he answers, never taking his eyes off of the famous scientist's look alike

"Um, what are you guys doing?" the man gives a nervous laugh, looking between the two

"Can two people dream at the same time?" Peter asks

"I'm not sure"

"Uh, seriously..what are you doing?"

The fifteen year old faces the man and speaks directly to him. "You're not Dr. Banner, are you"

"Well, I mean I play his character, but you guys know this"

"Where are we?" he continues

"We're going back to the hotel now, I was just stopping over to grab a bite to eat" he pauses then stares at both of them incredulously "Is this some joke that Evans or Sebastian put you up to or..."

The car ride was filled with more confused chatter until they had arrived at some fancy five star resort. They got out, still trying to clarify what the everliving fuck was going on, but soon ran into two more people, practically knocking each other onto the floor.

"Sorry" Peter apologized, his eyes sweeping upwards to meet an exact pair eyes staring back at him. They both took a step back and looked each other over then the pair made the same movement to look to their companion and see Mr. Stark also making eye contact with himself then look to the Peters.

Before any of them could say anything, Not-Bruce came to the rescue again and instantly told them to all go to the room. They tried to quickly get out of the public eye as fast as possible and hopped onto an elevator where they stood on opposite sides, the originals standing to the left and the Not-originals standing to the right. They remained silent and continued to stare at themselves like some absurd fun-house mirror. (At least the Mr. Stark and his clone were having a stare down. Peter and his twin just watched each other with blank expressions and the smallest of smiles playing on their lips)

The doors opened and they all walked down the hall until Stark replica pulled out a card and swiped at a door lock, opening it up and allowing everyone inside a room. No one said a word still, until the billionaire decided enough was enough.

"So, is anyone wanting to explain to me why the hell there are exact copies of me and Peter, why _he_ " the man points to Not-Bruce "isn't my science bro, and why a bunch of people were calling the kid Spider-Man" Forget about where they were, he needed to know who these people are

Peter #2 puts up a hand and begins speaking "Uh, actually, I was wondering the same thing..well not really, but I mean, are you guys supposed to be stunt doubles because 2 things: one, I do my own stunts so I'm not sure why he's here" #2 gestures to the kid "and two, they stepped up the makeup game on you guys" he finishes, and Tony almost wants to laugh because Peter's clone is _British_

"Stunt..no, wait, explain everything please because Mr. Stark and I have no clue what's going on"

"I literally have no idea what you want us to explain so why don't you guys explain, I think we're all confused on this one" Peter #2 replies

"Well I was in a meeting then I woke up in an alley and saw a giant poster with my face on it and ran into you guys" Mr. Stark leaned against the wall

"And I was just getting ready to go to school then _poof_ I'm here"

The three others looked at each other then back to the two, varying ranges of confusion and shock.

"What's your names? Like, your _actual_ names" Mr. Stark's twin asked

"I'm Tony Stark you dipshit"

"Uh, I'm Peter Parker" the duo had said at the same time, the latter obviously being much nicer to the other people

"Robert, I don't know what's going on, we should - should we call security?" Not-Bruce had murmured under his breath, but the teenager's look alike stopped them

"No guys, come on, they don't seem dangerous, I mean, I know this whole thing sounds impossible, but just pretend it is them, well they wouldn't do any harm" 

The billionaire cut in "Oh believe me, if you did something, I would not hesitate to hurt you" he unzipped his sweater, allowing his arc reactor's light to shine as the nano suit he had just perfected started building onto his hand to form only one full Iron-Man glove

"Holy shit!" the British Peter cried excitedly "How did you do that?!" 

"I'm Iron-Man, remember?" he smiles sarcastically, ready to shoot because this was getting really annoying now.

"And you're the real Spider-Man then?" he shouted more as a statement than a question

"N-No, I'm, uh, I'm not Spider-Man" he tried lying

"You totally are, man! Dude this is like the coolest thing ever!" he laughed "Oh and by the way, I'm Tom, er Tom Holland. That's RDJ aka Robert Downey Jr. and he's Mark Ruffalo" 

RDJ had taken a step forward to stand next to Tom "We're the actors who play you guys"

Mr. Stark lowered his weapon and relaxed his stance. He glanced to the teenager beside him and the kid made a gesture for him to get closer.

“Have you ever heard of the French Mistake, Mr. Stark?” Peter had asked, his eyes wide in realization 

“Can’t say that I have” he mumbles, looking back to the people in from of them

“It’s an episode from Supernatural..the characters end up in the real world where their lives are just a TV show”

“What does that have to do with anything”

“I think that’s what happened to us” he says quietly. They look the the actors then back at themselves.

"Can you prove that you're actors?" Mr. Stark asked

Tom and Robert exchange knowing looks. "Only if you guys tell us what was the last big event that happened" Tom rubs the back of his neck. "We don't want to show you anything that hasn't happened yet"

The two super heroes go silent before the youngest speaks up. "Uh, I stopped the Vulture and on the news, there was some stuff about Wakanda opening itself up to the public...is that good enough?" he looks around nervously

"That's perfect" Robert smiles "We don't need security, Mark, maybe just some popcorn" the man walks over to stand next to Peter and wraps an arm around his shoulder. 

"Get ready buddy, we're in for a treat"


	2. Is That My Movie, Mr. Stark?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RDJ, Tom Holland, Peter Parker, and Tony Stark all sit down to watch a movie while Mark Ruffalo runs to get some microwavable popcorn. Evans shows up at some point for some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: I am completely blown away with the amount of support I've gotten from you guys just within a few hours of posting this. I seriously thought I would be the only one who thought this was a good idea to write, but I'm so glad that you like it too. Buckle up bc we got a movie to watch..er.. _read_

They turn on the TV and Tom dives for the remote, clicking a button that makes the DVD slot open up. He slides in a small disk and pushes the slot close as the TV screen changes to a movie menu. The title read: _Spider-Man: Homecoming_

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks when the other two actors saw the screen.

"Do you really carry that everywhere?" Robert teased

"..Maybe" he muttered as he fast forward through the intro commercials until it told him that you couldn't fast forward anymore.

"I hate how you still gotta watch like, twenty minutes of just ads when you have a DVD" Mark shuffled to the couch where the others had began to pick their spots.

"If you hate it, then why don't you go get some popcorn for us. I think Evans has some from when he and Seb were watching the Captain America movies last night" Robert had chosen to sit on the right side of the couch while Mr. Stark sat on the left, though still leaving room for Mark, and sandwiched Peter and Tom in the middle.

"Hey guys, um I've been meaning to ask, but how do yo think you even got here?" the man asked

"I don't know, but I'm thinking that maybe Loki might've done something, or maybe someone else with powers like his" Mr. Stark responded, taking a quick glance at the kid sitting next to him who was smiling widely as Tom scrolled through his Instagram account.

"It's not Loki, he's probably on that trash planet with Thor-"

"What?"

"Not important right now" he waves "I think you guys need to contact Dr. Strange, so we might have to talk to Benedict to get some info about Strange"

The two keep talking while their younger companions laugh and giggle about whatever's going on their phones until Mark barges in through the door.

"I've got popcorn!" he shouts, carrying in a very large bowl filled with at least four bag of popcorn. Just as he takes a seat, the movie begins. Perfect timing.

"Oh my God, this is gonna be so great!" Tom squeals then Peter shushes him

"Quiet, I want to watch my movie"

The beginning starts with what looks like the backstory to another character, he an his crew cleaning up alien tech before being told by some new manager that all work was under them. They were to give up all the stuff they collected and to go home, but they still had one truck left. From that point on, they had begun to make weapons from the alien tech they had stolen. Next, the Marvel intro plays, the infamous Spider-Man theme song in the background before the screen cuts to black with some words appearing on screen. "A film by Peter Parker"

Various clips of Peter filming himself show up and the teen feels his face flush red in embarrassment. It's not too bad until cuts to him being in the car with Mr. Stark, because soon after they finish filming an alibi video for May, there's that awkward moment where 'it's not a hug'.

Robert leans over and gives the teen a pat on the shoulder "It's okay, Peter" he says "You can have a hug from me anytime"

The movie was pretty interesting so far, but he might just be biased. Peter would just make some comments under his breath, or explain certain situations every now and then with some light-hearted teasing from his mentor ("I still think it was adorable that you told Happy about the churros" "You promised you'd stop talking about it!" "You're afraid of heights? You swing from skyscrapers on the daily!" "Yeah, but that's different") until the ferry incident happened. All of the sudden, the kid wished he could be anywhere but in that seat, stuck next to Mr. Stark. One of the biggest mistakes he's ever made, and it's right there for all to see. The only thing that makes Peter feel a little better, is when Tom places a hand on his knee and gives a tight lipped smile. 

"If you're nothing without the suit, then you don't deserve it" the onscreen Tony Stark had told him. The kid watched as the movie version of himself began tearing up, feeling guilty and hurt. Beside him, he felt Mr. Stark tense up, he felt his stare fall on him for a second to observe his reaction. Peter's eyes had gotten a little glossy re-watching one of the worst moments he's had. 

The kid tilted his head and had it rest slightly on Tom who was feeling both extremely excited and also bad because the poor fifteen year old had that happen to him, and had to see it all happen again, but also because Peter freaking Parker was right there and acting almost like a younger brother who needed a hug from Tom. 

Things pick up a bit after that. Asking Liz out, getting ready for Homecoming, scenes with Ned and MJ. It was all cute and happy until all of the sudden, the music changed. Movie Peter had gone to pick up Liz to go to the dance, and Toomes - the Vulture - was the one opening the door. He drove them to the school, telling his daughter to go inside and that he needed to have a talk with the kid. Toomes had a gun, loaded and ready, aimed at Peter until he agreed to stay out of his way.

Naturally, that's not what happened.

Soon, the vigilante had narrowly missed being tasered to death, being saved by Ned, aka the Guy in the Chair. He met the Vulture in a warehouse and - oh God, okay this was worse than the ferry.

A lot worse. 

Before anything had even happened yet, Peter was ready to get up and leave, but once again, Tom had leaned over and whispered that it was alright. RDJ reached over the top of the couch and rested and arm on him. Mark had exchanged a knowing look with the other two actors as the billionaire had remained completely clueless. The wings of the suit were crashing down on the building supports and then Peter had started to hyperventilate just slightly.

The warehouse collapsed. It's weight crashing down on the poor, unsuspecting kid and he was alone.

Tony instantly felt guilty. It only got ten times worse when he heard his own voice come back "If you're nothing without the suit, then you don't deserve it" 

Mark nudged him and he saw Peter struggling to keep calm, Tom rubbing his arm and Robert giving worried glances every couple of seconds. 

"Feel okay, bud?" he whispered

"mhm"

The onscreen Peter lifted the rubble off of himself and started running after the Vulture. He had stuck to the outside of an invisible plane and steered it from the outside, crash landing on Coney Island. 

It seemed like it was only the warehouse thing, and the teen had calmed himself down, but RDj still kept a protective eye over him. 

By the time the movie had reached the ending where he was offering to make Spider-Man an official Avenger, he was at a loss for words. This kid had just done a shit load of work, he got a building dropped on him, had a plane crash, fought a vulture guy with alien tech while wearing pretty much just pajamas, and then ran into a fire to save the same guy because his alien tech wings had blown up and he still managed to make it to school the next day, 

"It _wasn't_ a test?!" he cried

Everyone began laughing as Peter realized that he totally missed a real life chance to become an avenger. The movie ends with him accidentally revealing his identity to Aunt May then credits begin to roll.

"Damn, kid, I thought this would be a fun, cute movie. I feel like a total asshole for taking the suit. Don;t worry, I'll never do that again"

"Really, it's okay, Mr. Stark. I mean, at the end of the day, I beat the bad guy and I ended up alright, maybe with a couple more scratches than in the movie, but it was fine"

"God, I'm so bad with kids, I'm sorry for taking the suit, and again, just call me Tony. Mr. Stark reminds me of my dad."

Before Peter could respond, there was a knock at the door. 

"Coming" Robert shouted then turned to tell Mark to get the door 

"Why me?" he argued

"because I'm comfortable and Tom would hate to miss any precious bonding time with his twin"

The man groaned then got up and walked out of the room into the small hallway where the door was. When he comes back into the room, he brings in a familiar face.

The two heroes tense up for a moment, then remember that this is not _their_ world, so that is most likely not _their_ Steve Rodgers.

"Oh yeah, sorry, forgot to give you a heads up" Mark said when Probably-Not-Steve had walked right into the living room.

"Who..."

"Peter Parker" Tom pointed to his Marvel counterpart

"Tony Stark" Robert copied

"I would ask for proof, but I know what terms you guys are on with Cap and I happen to have his face and I don't really want to get attacked" he walked over and nonchalantly grabs the bowl of popcorn and grabs a handful.

"So you're just going to go with this?"

"Pretty much"

He continued to eat from the bowl, then suddenly remembered what he had come in to do "Oh, by the way, were all staying for an extra week now I guess because of another event they're planning. The entire Infinity War cast is showing up and rumor has it that its a marvel movie marathon so try not to get too movie-ed out."

"But you were just watching a bunch of movies with Seb yesterday"

"That's different" he looks up and stares the three actors down, and speaks with a deadly serious tone "I could never get tired of watching those movies" he brings another handful of popcorn to his face, never breaking eye contact, and drops almost all of it on the floor.

Robert tries not to laugh and give the same intense stare, but ultimately loses and ends up a giggling mess.

Tom pays no attention to what's going on, completely oblivious to whatever nonsense is happening with RDJ and Steve 2.0. He turns around and asks Peter a question.

"Wait so do you have your suit with you?"

"Yeah, it should be here in my bag" the kid motions over to where his backpack laid, resting next to him on the couch.

"Do you think it would fit me?" there was no hiding the excitement in his tone

Tony cuts into their conversation and adds "Well it should, I mean, you guys are pretty much the same person, except you're British"

"I'm also older than Peter too, but yeah, you're right"

"Wait-hold on, you're older than me?" Peter's eyes go wide and Tony begins to laugh

"Oh my God, how much older"

"I just turned 21" he mumbles, staring at his feet in embarasment

Tony only laughs harder "I'm so sorry, kid. That's as tall as you're getting!" Peter gives him a dramatic groan of annoyance, trying to hide a smile on his own face

"You're just jealous that you're actor doesn't have a cool British accent like mine" 

"Peter, you're from Queens, Tom is from a place that's ruled by Queens" he cackles

"Come on, Tom, let's go be cool somewhere else" he flips his hair and stands up, strutting out of the room like a runway model, the actor doing the exact some thing.

When they make it to the other room, they too fall apart into a mess of laughter. When they finally get a hold of themselves, Peter pulls out the Spider-Man suit from his bag and hands it to Tom, instructing him to just put it on over his boxers and then let him go to the bathroom to put it on.

"Dude, this is seriously cool" he exclaims when he comes out, messing with the webshooters on his wrists.

"Don't mess with those too much. I don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here, so I need all the web fluid I got" he tells him

"Cool, cool, got it" Tom's accent shifts to the infamous Queen's accent of Peter Parker "Let's go show off the new outfit"

Tom runs out of the room, doing a flip and nailing a perfect landing. "Hey guys, what's up"

All eyes follow the vigilante and actor. 

"Which one is in the suit?"

"Peter Parker, or course" Tom replies, leaning on a door frame, but Peter begins to climb up a wall and stands completely upside down from the ceiling.

"It's Tom" he says and they look back to the other Spider-Man

"Thanks for blowing my cover" he mumbles

"No problem" the kid smiles as he jumps down. "Oh, wait have you talked to Karen yet?" he asks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally keep a note document that's just filled with all your ideas so pls keep telling them to me, I promise I'll add them in at some point. I just gotta figure out what the plot of this is going to be and how to incorporate everything. Keep commenting!!! It makes me so happy!


	3. Mr. Stark Is That A Mustache On Captain America?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is laughing because whatever that dude's name is, the one with Steve's face, well he has the must ridiculous looking thing on his face. 
> 
> Tom talks to Karen and she does not compute.
> 
> They decide to go outside and get food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHORT CHAPTER, I KNOW, I'M SORRY JUST READ THE END NOTE PLEASE ITS IMPORTANT

While Peter and Tom were hanging out in the other room, Tony managed to sneak his way into a conversation with Possibly-Not-Steve and RDJ. Up until that point, he hadn't actually given a good look at his face, automatically assuming he looked literally exactly like Steve Rodgers, but now he realized he was wearing the most godforsaken ugly looking thing on his lip.

"Wait, hold on...what the hell is that on your face?" he laughs, stopping them mid-speech

"What, is there some food stuck on me?" the man asks as a concerned look had covered his features

"No - oh my _God!_ You've got fucking caterpillar just resting there under your nose!" Tony laughs even harder

Mark looks at then to the other man, noticing what he was laughing about then he too began to chuckle.

"He's talking about the mustache, Evans" he snorts when the other man's eyes went wide with shock.

"What's wrong with my mustache?" fake hurt evident in his voice

Tony was _dying_ , this guy had the same face as Steve and not _once_ has he ever seen Steve make that face. "You look like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons minus the glasses" 

God this was hilarious.

RDJ and Stark both started comparing That Guy With Steve's Face to other people that had fugly mustaches while Mark pretended to help Capsicle 2.0 with his wounded ego. It lasted for a good while until Peter and Tom came strolling out of the other room, one casually wearing the suit.

It is a little difficult to tell the two apart sometimes, but Tom pretended to be Peter in the suit and the kid totally gave him up. 

They messed around for a little bit longer, the fifteen year old introduced the British actor to Karen, who definitely did _not_ know how to make of the situation.

Normally, no one but the person inside the sit would be able to hear the AI, but Tony rushed over, doing..well doing _something_ to the suit and gave them a thumbs up to start. 

"Hey Karen, whats up?" Tom asks

Immediately, a cool robotic female voice fills the air "Good afternoon, Peter. I am required to call Tony Stark, as it seems you have undergone great biological change in less than hours since you were last in the suit. My sensors cannot pick up on any of your stats currently."

"Oh uh, Karen, I'm not Peter" he giggled, slipping out of the Queens accent he's perfected.

"I'm sorry, Peter, but I believe you may be having a case of slight amnesia. I will complete a scan of the brain to check."

The real Spider-man decides to intervene, stepping in front of Tom and waving to the mask, to Karen.

"That's not me, Karen." 

"I-I don't understand. Calling Tony Stark."

Across the room, the man's phone starts to ring, the sound of Peter singing 'Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can' echoing from the speakers. 

"You said you deleted that!" the teen blurts out, his face blushing red

"I did delete it, but not before I made it my ringtone for you"

He groaned. 

Soon they had moved onto something else, Tom getting bored of having a one sided conversation with the AI because she literally didn't know what to do or how to make of the situation and would send him to Tony's phone. Eventually, the actor had started talking about how cool it would be to have powers too.

"It's for the best you don't have powers though" Mustache Steve told him

"Wha - why?" he asks, looking confused

"Didn't you say in that one interview that if you had spider powers, the first thing you'd do would be to rob a bank"

Peter turns to face Tom, giving him an incredulous stare " _Really?_ "

He raises his hands up in mock surrender, his voice pitching upward as he hastily began to explain himself "Wait no I promise I wouldn't do that! I swear, especially because now I know you would show up totally kick my ass" 

"Of course"

They go back and forth for a little bit, joking about the different ways the teenager could beat him up, when suddenly Mark interrupts. "Hey guys, uh, is anyone else getting a little hungry?" 

Several murmurs of agreement fill the air and Mark decides its time for food.

"Hey, Evans, you wanna order from the hotel or we could all go out and bring something back for these guys" he asks

"Um.. I feel like they probably want to go out and explore a little bit, so why don't we have Tom and Tony go out and then Peter and Robert. One of us could chaperone each group." he plans, making eye contact with everyone as a nonverbal confirmation of the idea

"Sounds good, we just need to stay away from paparazzi" RDJ adds

"Where are we going to eat?" the teenager pipes in, really hoping to get some pizza.

"I don't know, its up to you, kiddo" the older man ruffles Peter's hair affectionately

"You think he needs to pretend like he's English?" The-Guy-Who's-Not-Steve-But-Hasn't-Formally-Introduced-Himself-So-They-Don't-Know-His-Name says

All eyes shift to the boy and RDJ makes a sound "Eh, I'm sure he'd be fine like this"

"Great" Tony claps his hands together "Lets get some food then"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PLEASE READ**   
>  first of all, I am completely blown away by all of your support. second, I am _so so so so sorry_ it took this long for such a short chapter. Finals came and kicked my ass and I spent every moment I had just studying but I'm here now and hopefully next chapter will be longer. I promise I do read the comments, I just cant respond to all of them. I love all your ideas, and I have a vague plan for this and a lot of you seem to have the same idea for how it pans out, but I want to keep it a secret for a little longer. I'll try to include as much as I can, so keep commenting ideas. Someone told me to add in Peter and the rest reacting to Tom Holland's lip sync battle and stuff like that? I forget about it and I'm so glad you remind me. Thank you so much for your support, I'll be updating more frequently from now on.


	4. They Have Subway Here Too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shows Peter and RDJ pov while on a walk to get some food.

Eventually, the group departed into a buddy system of sorts. Not-Steve ended up being the one to watch over RDJ and Peter as they took a stroll down a nice, empty sidewalk. It was strange, compared to the bustling roads of Queens, but he liked it. Part of Peter worried that May would be at home, worried sick about her kid, while the rest of him tried convincing himself that whatever magic brought them into this weird world must've paused time back home or something. It was really more for his sanity than anything else.

"So whatcha feeling hungry for, Pete?" Robert asked, ready to buy anything the fifteen year old wanted.

"Dunno, what's around?" 

"Uh, Evans, you were walking around with Anthony and Sebastian earlier, did you see anything the squirt might like?" 

"I think I saw Subway nearby" he scratches the back of his neck, checking their surroundings constantly

"Wait wait wait" Peter stops dead in his tracks "You have Subway here too? And your name is Evans?"

"Yeah, I'm Chris Evans, but for the most part, people use my last name. You see, there's Chris Pratt, Hemsworth, and then me" he smiles

"Oh yeah, if we call a Chris, then those three lumbering men come running over and it sometimes frightens Mark. He'll jump on a chair and someone has to get him down" Robert chuckles, joining in the fun

"So who do the other Chris-es play as"

"Well, Pratt plays Peter Quill, Starlord, one of the Guardians of the Galaxy and Hemsworth is Thor. I hope you already know who I am." 

"So you share a name with Chris Pratt, and I share a name with Peter Quill? Wow, it's like fate or something"

Evans laughs "Guess so. You'll meet them soon enough, both the actors and the actual people in your universe. Well - hopefully if us talking about stuff that'll happen in the future doesn't screw up your timeline"

Before they knew it, they had arrived at Subway, ordered, and took a group picture with the person serving their food. Peter was about to pretend to be Tom, but RDJ told him to just keep on being himself, they'd all go along with it. 

The teen demolished the sandwich so quickly, they had almost forgotten about the metabolism thing until that moment. He just continued to slowly eat the bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and occasionally sip from a soda while listening to the two other men talk about their world. 

"So when do you think I'll get to go back home?" he asks with a mouth full of chips

"Not sure, this sounds a lot like a Doctor Strange related thing. Benedict knows a lot about his character so maybe we should talk to him?"

Peter takes a thoughtful sip of soda, allowing himself for the first time to really think of the complexity of this situation. Since there is another universe where he's nothing but a comic book character portrayed by actors, and they seem to be up to date on their worlds, does that mean his entire world was written by someone in this dimension? Is he nothing more than a fictional character? Was everything that ever happened to him only created for the sake of plot and character development? He'd like to be angry about it, but again, a small portion of his mind tries to tell him that it's not true. Peter takes comfort in the thought.

"Hey, um, just wondering, but who exactly wrote the stories for the Marvel universe" the teen decides to ask

Robert smiles and answers first "Stan Lee. He's been writing some of these comics for decades. He also makes cameos in every marvel movie to date" 

Quickly, he pulls out his phone and begins tapping away at the screen. After a few seconds, he hands the phone over to the kid. "You ever see him around?"

He looks at the image astonished. It was the same guy he had seen that one time he tried stopping a car theft. Turns out, the guy trying to break into the vehicle was the owner, and it became a mess, but he still remembers the old man's face. Actually, now that he thought about it, there's a bus driver that looks exactly like him too. And a hot dog vendor too.

The vigilante mumbled a soft "woah" as he handed back the phone. 

"Crazy, right?" he chuckles softly. Evans touches his elbow, signalling his attention and whispering something to him.

"We should get going before all the fans show up" he tells the kid, keeping him in the loop.

"I'm still surprised by the number of people who really love me. Not just Tom, but me too. I was reading some of the comments 'n stuff and they're all so nice" he beams brightly as he gathers his trash to throw away, bringing only whats still left of the large soda.

They make their way back to the hotel, seeing a few more people than they did before. One or two asked for a photo or autograph, when it came down to Peter, he just signed it as his own name and winked, jokingly warning them not to tell May. He hoped it would be enough to seem genuine. It probably was, judging from the excited little boy he hugged and from the squealing teenaged girls that were no older than himself.

Peter could really get used to something like this.

When they got back to the room, they saw Tony, Mark and Tom all laying back on the couch with three boxes of pizza, looking equally exhausted.

"What happened to you three" RDJ snorts

Tony gives him a tired look and rolls his eyes "I thought I had it bad in my world, but trying to eat out with these two celebrities was so much worse"

They nod in agreement, and continue to slowly chew on the food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all will get to see what happened with the others next chapter, after that chapter, we'll see some Mackie and Seb trying to prank Peter. Maybe we'll have Tom team up with him for an ultimate prank. Idk, I'm writing this as I go with only a vague sense of direction lol. Remember, keep commenting bc I forget stuff even tho i write it down for ideas and if I see something pop up a lot, I might bring it up a lot sooner.


	5. This World Sucks And The Paparazzi Is Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony, Mark and Tom's perspective on going out to eat

“So,” Tom claps his hands together “I was thinking maybe we could go get some Italian from that fancy plac-“

“I want burger” Tony cuts him off, looking at Mark and giving a half smile “You guys got burgers here, right? We’re in Hollywood so going by my world, there’s an in n out somewhere in this state”

The two actors look at each other strangely. “Yeah,” Mark drags out the syllable “We got In ‘n Out”

“Great. Let’s go” Tony walks right out of the room, leaving Mark and Tom. Mark simply shrugs and follows along as Tom stands there gaping. 

“Sorry, kid. Maybe next time?”I he tries to be empathetic, but he’s laughing a little which causes a small smile to form of Tom’s face. 

“Guess it wasn’t meant to be” he pulls himself from his stupor to catch up with the two others. 

They barely make it down through the elevator when all of the sudden, people show up out of no where. They’d only left a few minutes after Peter and friends, so did they get the same amount of people coming at them? 

Tony didn’t really want to think about Peter being swamped with girls like these, clinging onto Tom like their lives depended on it. They had to awkwardly shuffle through everyone to even get to the front door of the lobby, sipping every few seconds to take a picture or sign something. Going outside wasn’t much different from inside. Maybe there were a few more people and some extra screaming that Tony didn’t really like, but it was the same thing. They couldn’t even get to the parking garage to grab Mark’s car so instead. 

Tom flipped up the hood of his jacket, placing sunglasses firmly on his face and Mark pulled out a baseball cap from seemingly no where. They had to start speed-walking when the reporters showed up and now they were wondering if hunger was really worth all this mess. 

“God and I thought the paparazzi was bad in New York” the billionaire mumbles to himself when the group of celebrities manages to lose the crowd of people. 

“Yeah, well before it was just you. Now there’s three of us, there’s bound to be more people” Mark replies, turning behind him to look for any crazy fans. 

They still wanted to go back to the car and drive out to grab some food, but hey can’t go back now when everyone there have most likely put it all over Twitter and instagram, meaning more people are showing up. 

Right in front of them was some pizza hole in the wall generic pizza place. Guess they’d be getting Italian after all, if you can even call it Italian. 

Tom ordered and paid for the food, and they walked four blocks just to make it to the back of their resort hotel and get in through a mini golf course. They walked up the stairs and by the time they finally got to the room, the three of them practically collapsed. They had to drag themselves to the couch and sat the pizzas on the coffee table, nome of them spoke and the only noise that could be heard was them chewing. It reminded Tony a lot of that time he and the Avengers got shawarma after that one fight. 

About five minutes later, Peter had shown up with Capsicle 2.0 and Robert. Why the hell didn’t they get a million people to chase them down the street?

"What happened to you three" Robert was laughing. He probably knows what it feels like to be in his shoes. 

Tony gives him a tired look and rolls his eyes "I thought I had it bad in my world, but trying to eat out with these two celebrities was so much worse"

They nod in agreement, and continue to slowly chew on the food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but in my defense, I write this while on a plane ride and I’m still rly jet lagged and sleep deprived so I’m sorry for errors and junk. I’ll update the next chapter soon tho.


	6. Oh Shit That Wasn't Tom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb and Mackie meet Peter. It doesn't go too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is just one big crackfic and I'm glad y'all are here with me to experience this. Also: I've been meaning to post this for like a week now but ever time I tried to start working on it I always got interrupted so I'm sorry for the wait

Things calmed down after a while. They all hung around the couch, trying to decide if they should skip the other Thor movies and just show Ragnarok to the two super heroes. Peter wanted to watch everything in order, starting from the first Iron Man movie, an not miss a single thing. It didn't matter how much they told him that Thor 2 was really boring and hard to see sometimes, he wanted to watch it all. Tony on the other hand was internally cringing at the fact that there were three of his own movies and there could be a lot of ... _scenes_ he didn't want Peter to witness. He'd have to talk to Robert about that to make sure that they'd skip certain parts if needed. 

Eventually they decided they’d watch everything in order (much to Peter’s delight) and make sure to cover the kid’s eyes when needed. During one particular moment in Iron Man 1, they decided to tell the teenager they needed some ice and he should go grab some from the ice machines outside in the hall. 

He went out begrudgingly, completely unaware of their true motive only only wondered what he’d be missing. There could be valuable information about Tony he could be learning right now!

Peter is so deep in thought, he didn’t notice two figures walk up from behind him. Next thing he knew it, he was face to face with Sam Wilson and the Winter Soldier. 

Well - at least their lookalikes. 

“Aw Tom’s out here getting some ice for his buddies. Did those teenaged girls chase you around so much you need some ice to cool down? Or are you using it to chill your juice box" The one who looks Sam Wilson laughs and then gives a high five to the Winter Soldier who oddly enough doesn't have a metal arm and has short hair. Not his usual long shoulder length locks, which is slightly unnerving to be frank.

"Uh, I um" he stutters, remembering he is in fact supposed to be Tom Holland and not Peter Parker "Robert told me to" he cringed at his awful accent, but he has no idea if the others were okay with him letting all the others actors know what's going on. 

"Yeah yeah, whatever excuse you want to use to try and hide your shame" Not-Sam Wilson laughed, he was obviously being friendly, so whatever relationship Tom had with these guys..it was at least on good terms, but Peter has no idea what he's allowed to say or how to act so he forces out a chuckle and tries to get back to the room as fast as possible. Unfortunately enough, the two men seemed to be heading in the same direction. The teen just prayed that they wouldn't be following him to the room and end up freaking out when he saw Tom, Tony, and RDJ all chilling on the couch.

He turns to ask because though he knows that he's Spider-Man and these two are definitely not the guys he fought in Germany, it doesn't help his anxiety. "Where are you guys going?" he almost forgets to sound like Tom, but catches himself and cringes again at his voice.

"We're hoping to see what the party's like over in there" the not-hydra assassin tells him calmly.

"Yeah we want our Chris back, you can have the other ones" he swipes an ice cube from Peter's arms, looking at it thoughtfully before he shoves it down the teen's shirt. 

Right at that moment, Tony opened the door to grab his kid when he sees only a few feet away looking extremely uncomfortable and getting ice thrown down his shirt. He springs into action before he remembers where he is.

"What do you think you're doing to my kid?" he asks accusingly, barely able to keep his temper in check staring straight into the eyes of the man that killed his parents. Tony's probably about to go haywire when he feels a hand on his shoulder trying to communicate something. The man turns around and sees Tom who is more focused on getting Tony Stark not obliterate two actors picking on his teenaged vigilante kid than the shocked looks on said actor's faces.

"Hey hey, woah, slow down there. These guys are cool" Tom tells him. 

"Y-You?" The one that looks like Wilson stammers while they both visibly pale.

Soon enough, RDJ, Evans and Mark all rushed out, each of them saying different variations of wanting to know what the fuss was about. They each stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Tom holding Tony back, who was still absolutely seething and Peter looking like a deer caught in the headlights next to the other two men. 

"Uh, Tony, meet Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan" Mark introduces them in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Tony twists out of Tom's grasp and gives them a death glare before he calls Peter over and they start walking back into the room.

"Wait, what's - I don't...Tony?" Sebastian looks at the others, completely confused.

"Yeah, it's a long story, and I have an interview in an hour with Scarlett so you can take my place in this weirdness" Mark walks to them patting Anthony on the back, then continues his path to his hotel room to get ready. He turns around to call out to the others, giving a simple goodbye and see you later, then disappeared behind a corner.

The two men look to each other, almost needing confirmation that _yes_ , they called Robert's apparent long lost twin Tony and Tom's also long lost twin Peter. It was the most logical explanation they could think of, but it still was a stretch. A major stretch. Eventually, they walked begrudgingly into the hotel room wanting to know more while fearful about ""Tony""

Upon emerging through the doorway, they could see one of the Roberts sitting and talking with one of the Toms while the others hovered nervously between them and the door. The first one who began talking was Chris, giving an apologetic glance their way before he had hastily started explaining.

"Yeah Mark found them on the street and Robert's adopted them like lost puppies. I myself don't really know too much about what's going on, but trust me. That is Tony Stark and Peter Parker, do not mess with them. I'm pretty sure they could kill us if they wanted." he warned.

"Wha - uh - okay" Anthony stutters out, not exactly sure what to say or how to believe what's happening. 

Sebastian isn't accepting too quickly and points an accusatory finger in the direction of the so called "super heroes" on the other side of the room. "Is this a prank because there's literally no way they can exist!" He lets a little bit of hysterical laughter bubble up.

Seriously, how is anyone supposed to be sane in a situation like this?

Peter - or whoever he is - swats away Robert's clone and walks to the two, ignoring whatever protests may be coming from the increasingly agitated man and nervously twitches as he tries to introduce himself.

"Hi, uh yeah we exist. Also the door is still, uh, open so we should probably close that." He gives a tight lipped smile.

The not-Winter Soldier is about to close it himself when Anthony butts in, "Hold on, if you're spider-boy go and close the door with one of those webs you got."

Peter looks anxiously at the men, having to remind himself that they are in fact good people and would not hurt him, but that didn't help much. He was planning on saving the web fluid for emergencies, especially because he has such a limited amount of it, then again he wanted to prove himself.

With a single, precise movement, he landed a web right on the door handle and jerked his hand back to shut the door with a satisfying click. He smiled when he glanced up and saw them both gawking in awe and surprise.

"Holy shit," Sebastian mutters under his breath. 

"Yeah we woke up here and we're kind of having a French Mistake moment," the kid shrugs.

"A french what?"

"French Mistake? Like the episode from Supernatural? Sam and Dean Winchester? Misha Collins? You have them here too, right?" He starts to search the faces of the adults but it looked like no one understood him. A few eyes moved over to Tony, but he just puts his hands up and tells them he has no idea what it is either.

Peter sighs and sulks over to Tom, asking if he could borrow his phone for a minute. He agrees and there are a few minutes of silence until he shouts out "Found it!" and makes sure everyone sees the different images of the actors and characters all brought to them via google images. 

It's nice to see some things stay the same here.

"Basically in this episode, the angel Balthazar sends them into another dimension or something because the archangel Raphael is hunting them down or whatever and they end up finding out there's a show about them. They apparently came into our world and magic and stuff wouldn't work, they had to find a way back, they completely destroyed everything and Misha, the actor for Castiel died in that episode i think. It's been a while since I watched it, so it's a little fuzzy"

Anthony looks almost afraid with this newfound revelation, "So you think there's someone chasing you down and one of us could die?" 

"Nononono, just the whole swapping realities thing. If someone was hunting us down, I'm pretty sure they could find us really fast."

Somehow, that last sentence didn't help with any of their nerves.

"Okay, spider-boy, whatever you say. But if some wacko murder comes through, I'll be sure to point them your way." Seb nods in agreement which causes Tony to spur from his little corner of anger.

"I swear - I really want you two to not be the guys I know back home, but every second I'm around you is proving you're the same." He sneers, his grudge against the ones he knows in his world taking over his ability to see them as different people.

"Oh, uh no we promise we're nothing like them, sir." They raise their hands up as the Avenger gets closer to them.

"I really hope so,"

The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife, so because of that, Robert decided to break the unbearable silence. "So, the movie!" he claps his hands together.

"Ah yes, we should uh, finish watching it" Tom says loudly. Soon enough they were all turning their attention back to the TV which had been paused at some point. Tony gave one last glare, taking a protective seat next to his kid while Peter tries giving them a reassuring thumbs up that the others couldn't see.

With that, they all sat down, ready to focus on the screen in front of them instead of whatever kind of rivalry has started with the actual super heroes of Marvel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i'm so bad at posting. I hope this makes up for forgetting to post for like,,forever ago

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve got a [tumblr](https://marvelherosaredorks.tumblr.com) and an [instagram](https://instagram.com/genericresponse?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=161029qhh46cc) if u wanna yell at me. make sure to comment stuff too, maybe ideas or other things to add to this bc ur comments make me feel more motivated and inspired to write


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